It has been 6 days since I had knee surgery. If I could describe how I feel in one word it would be - crazy. I feel like I'm going crazy!!! I can't put ANY weight on my knee for 6 weeks. SIX LONG WEEKS. It feels like it's already been 6 months, and it's only been 6 days. I have to hop on one leg AT ALL TIMES. That is a lot harder than it sounds. Try it....
I have been able to get out of the house. Since the surgery was on my left knee, I am able to drive, and that part is easy. The hard part is everything else. Getting in and out of the car is quite the ordeal. And walking is so hard - I have to stop and take breaks after just a few steps. Or should I say hops. I left the hospital with crutches, but after deciding that was not going to work, I asked for another option. The only other option was a walker. So I got the kind with a seat. That makes taking breaks easier. But it is not easy. I'm really not sure which is better - crutches or walker. They are both so hard. My palms hurt, my abs hurt, etc.
There needs to be a better solution for people that can't be weight bearing on one leg. I would think a wheelchair would be the easiest solution, but I'm guessing they don't want both of my legs to get weak. But I don't see how I'm going to get through this without injuring the other knee or hip. I'm pretty sure God didn't design our bodies for all of our weight to be on one leg...
I'm also fighting depression. Keeping it real here. I sit around thinking about what I can't do, and how long it's going to be until I can do it. My kids are amazing and pitching in where they can, but what am I going to do when they go back to school in a couple of weeks? I am taking my first born to college in a couple of weeks. When I think of trying to get around.... ugh
So I am not sure what lessons God has for me, and I am trying to look at it from a positive perspective, but this is so hard.....
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Friday, July 19, 2019
Trust is hard
After my last post, I had a hard time getting back on here to update. I did lose my job. Not my fault, and I don't think it's fair, but there it is. I have to trust that God has a plan. I feel a little like Job - "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21) This job dropped in my lap out of nowhere, and it was taken away the same way - out of nowhere. I don't plan to look for another job. I have always felt like my first duty was to my family. I still have one sweet child at home. The only reason I took this job was because she would be there too. As a float, I could go see her anytime I wanted to. I was still there to kiss her boo-boos, give her a hug, and rejoice with her when something cool happened. I will go back to doing that at home.
During the same week, my son also lost his job because of a manager that didn't like him. So he's learning some tough lessons also - just because you work hard, and do everything right doesn't guarantee you will be treated fairly. But we must trust that God still as a plan, and He's still working in our lives. He's looking for a new job, and I am so proud of him.
I got my surgery scheduled. Hubby will be home from AT by then, so he can take me. I have some amazing kids that will pitch in around the house, and we will be great!
I have been feeling like I should start some sort of women's gathering. In the past I hosted a Bible study here in my home. But life happens, and we had to stop meeting. I'm starting to think it might be a good idea to get it going again. Either a Bible study or just a weekly gathering of ladies that can be real and do life together. I'm still praying about it. I'm always scared to do something like this - I feel unqualified, and my anxiety kicks in. But I know there is such a need for ladies to have a community to turn to. I know I need it, and I know I'm not the only one. Ideally the church should be that for Christians, but I know a smaller gathering can be nice also. And some people get lost in the church. I want to be there for them.
Just some of things going on around here.
Until next time!
During the same week, my son also lost his job because of a manager that didn't like him. So he's learning some tough lessons also - just because you work hard, and do everything right doesn't guarantee you will be treated fairly. But we must trust that God still as a plan, and He's still working in our lives. He's looking for a new job, and I am so proud of him.
I got my surgery scheduled. Hubby will be home from AT by then, so he can take me. I have some amazing kids that will pitch in around the house, and we will be great!
I have been feeling like I should start some sort of women's gathering. In the past I hosted a Bible study here in my home. But life happens, and we had to stop meeting. I'm starting to think it might be a good idea to get it going again. Either a Bible study or just a weekly gathering of ladies that can be real and do life together. I'm still praying about it. I'm always scared to do something like this - I feel unqualified, and my anxiety kicks in. But I know there is such a need for ladies to have a community to turn to. I know I need it, and I know I'm not the only one. Ideally the church should be that for Christians, but I know a smaller gathering can be nice also. And some people get lost in the church. I want to be there for them.
Just some of things going on around here.
Until next time!
Monday, July 8, 2019
The saga continues...
"What more could go wrong?" I asked myself yesterday. Little did I know, lots!
The mechanic that hubby had his car towed to, can't work on it for 2 weeks. No bueno since he will be home in two weeks. So they jump started it for him, and he drove it to another mechanic, who is now working on it.
I had a follow-up on my knee issue. Surgery is in my future. UGH!! Plus 6 weeks on crutches. Yay. (sarcasm)
I called my boss, at the preschool where I work, to let her know that it might be a little awkward for me to hobble around the kids on crutches the first couple of weeks of school. After an awkward start to the conversation, she finally reveals, that she may not have a position for me anymore due to a financial error on the part of the church where the preschool is located. What?!?!?! Because of someone else's error, I may be out of a job. Wow. Didn't see that one coming.
God, what do you have planned in all this? I can't see anything positive right now. I see loss of income, loss of a job I adored, more costs associated with car repairs, fear of an upcoming surgery, and lots of confusion. Help me to see the positive in this, God. Because I'm having a hard time seeing anything.
Lesson to be learned here - never ask "what more can go wrong?" The answer will shock you!
until next time....
The mechanic that hubby had his car towed to, can't work on it for 2 weeks. No bueno since he will be home in two weeks. So they jump started it for him, and he drove it to another mechanic, who is now working on it.
I had a follow-up on my knee issue. Surgery is in my future. UGH!! Plus 6 weeks on crutches. Yay. (sarcasm)
I called my boss, at the preschool where I work, to let her know that it might be a little awkward for me to hobble around the kids on crutches the first couple of weeks of school. After an awkward start to the conversation, she finally reveals, that she may not have a position for me anymore due to a financial error on the part of the church where the preschool is located. What?!?!?! Because of someone else's error, I may be out of a job. Wow. Didn't see that one coming.
God, what do you have planned in all this? I can't see anything positive right now. I see loss of income, loss of a job I adored, more costs associated with car repairs, fear of an upcoming surgery, and lots of confusion. Help me to see the positive in this, God. Because I'm having a hard time seeing anything.
Lesson to be learned here - never ask "what more can go wrong?" The answer will shock you!
until next time....
Sunday, July 7, 2019
quick glimpse at our life
I have heard seveal times that our life is so crazy, we should write a book. I figured a blog post was the close enough. So here's what the summer has looked like for us (and it's only July):
1) my car had issues and had to have work done.
2) washing maching stopped working. Had to borrow one from my parents until we can afford to get our fixed.
3) garbage disposal started leaking
4) my car needs more work done
5) husband's car had to have work done
6) issues at church have us questioning whether we should stay or find a new church home
7) messed up my knee. Probably a torn meniscus
8) behavior issues with one of the kids
9) Christopher left for his 2 weeks of annual training, and his car broke down 2 hours from the base; causing him to have it towed to a mechanic, find a hotel for the night, and find a ride to the base.
10) error on the part of the military caused us issues with our tax refund - we only received half of what we should. The military finally corrected their error, we filed an ammended return, and are still waiting for the other half of our refund. (it's been months)
These are just a few things I can come up with off the top of my head.
Y'all, life is crazy! I don't understand why God allows so many things to hit us all at once. What I do know is:
1) He is right here with us for all of it
2) He is working all these things out for my good (Rom 8:28)
3) someday I will understand why we had to go through such trials, but it may not be till I get to Heaven
4) I am blessed!! Even with all these trials, I am still blessed.
Just a quick update.
love ya!
1) my car had issues and had to have work done.
2) washing maching stopped working. Had to borrow one from my parents until we can afford to get our fixed.
3) garbage disposal started leaking
4) my car needs more work done
5) husband's car had to have work done
6) issues at church have us questioning whether we should stay or find a new church home
7) messed up my knee. Probably a torn meniscus
8) behavior issues with one of the kids
9) Christopher left for his 2 weeks of annual training, and his car broke down 2 hours from the base; causing him to have it towed to a mechanic, find a hotel for the night, and find a ride to the base.
10) error on the part of the military caused us issues with our tax refund - we only received half of what we should. The military finally corrected their error, we filed an ammended return, and are still waiting for the other half of our refund. (it's been months)
These are just a few things I can come up with off the top of my head.
Y'all, life is crazy! I don't understand why God allows so many things to hit us all at once. What I do know is:
1) He is right here with us for all of it
2) He is working all these things out for my good (Rom 8:28)
3) someday I will understand why we had to go through such trials, but it may not be till I get to Heaven
4) I am blessed!! Even with all these trials, I am still blessed.
Just a quick update.
love ya!
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