If you are familiar with Christian music, then the name Steven Curtis Chapman should ring a bell. His family has suffered a tragic loss. Here's a link to the story:

http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080521/TUNEIN/80521174/1005/ENTERTAINMENT

His 5 year old daughter was killed today after she was struck by a car in her own driveway. What makes this story even more tragic - her brother was driving the car. It was a very tragic accident. Please keep this family in your prayers.

Stories like this always remind me how blessed I am. It's hard to complain about the little things when I hear of someone suffering this kind of loss.

looking ahead

This summer is going to be very interesting. Chris will be gone for 6 weeks with the Army. That means, I'll be home alone with 4 kids! OH MY GOSH!! I plan to spend lots of time outside or out and about. I plan to have a list of rules for the kids, and a list of special treats if they follow the rules. I do not want to lose control of my life this summer! My parents have already offered to help in any way they can. I've also had lots of friends offer to do lots of playdates. Trust me - I'll be taking them up on the offer! Prayers would be greatly appreciated!

In other news - I'm going to start working out regularly. I really think it will help my mood, energy level, and all-around outlook on life. I'm starting tonight when Chris gets home from work. So if you are a member of the Y, you'll be seeing me there tonight! ;)

Another busy weekend. I feel like I am never home anymore. There's always so much to do! And now that we know Chris will be gone this summer, we plan to have lots of family time before he leaves. So I don't see things slowing down anytime soon.

That's all I have time for right now. Will update again soon.
((((HUGS))))

Question

This is probably one of the questions there isn't a good answer to, but there goes:

Should you say something if you notice one of your friends HIGHLY favoring one child over the other(s)?

I grew up watching my uncle treat his kids like that - it was OBVIOUS which child was his favorite. He also had a favorite niece/nephew. It was obvious to me at a young age. Maybe that's why I try so hard to keep things fair around here. I do not want any of my kids to think I have a favorite. But I have a couple of friends (yes, more than one) that favor one of their children. It is so obvious to me, and to others that know them, but no one knows what to say. Should we say anything? It's not really our place - is it?

long time

It's been a while since I updated here. So much for blogging everyday. oops. ;)

Mother's Day was good. We went to the zoo. It was more for the kids, but we all had a good time. My parents went with us. Afterwards we had a nice dinner. I definitely felt appreciated.

Caleb had his awards program yesterday. He got several awards including 3 for reading! He also got an award for spelling. He got 100% on all spelling tests this year. He was the only one in his class to get that award!! I am so proud of him!!!

Conner's class is putting on a program tomorrow. I'm glad they weren't on the same day. I hate running back and forth between the 2 classrooms.

The school year is almost over. They have one week left. It's crazy how fast it's gone by. And next year, I will have 3 in school!!! I can't believe it! Where has the time gone? It's going too fast!

Still no word on a ministry position for Chris. He has a meeting tomorrow to discuss his National Guard plans.

I'm still trying not to freak out about all of this, but it sure is hard.

Our garage door opener is about to quit. My dad came over last night to look at it. He said it's "on life support." But thankfully, we have another one. This one came with the house, but we have another one. We are going to switch them out as soon as we can get some new brackets.

I'm feeling better physically. My "female problems" seem to be taken care of. This has definitely helped with my energy level, so I'm back to getting stuff done around the house.

I think that's enough of an update for now.
((((HUGS))))

shots :(

I had to take the girls to the health department today for their immunizations. Megan had to get 5!! And Madison had to get 3. Thankfully they combined some of Madison's, or she would have had 5 also. Poor baby - she screamed like I have never heard her before. I wanted to cry with her! I hate it, but I know it's for their good. Megan was such a big girl! She didn't even cry! She just said "OUCH" after each shot.

Madison slept 6 hours last night! The night before she went 8 hours!! I was shocked when she started squirming around the time my alarm went off! This is a month earlier than all 3 of the other kids! Madison just knows that mommy needs her sleep. By the end of the day, I am ready to crash!! I think she's taking pity on me. Of course, she might be up several times tonight, since her little legs might hurt from the shots. :(

That's today's update. :)
((((HUGS))))

so tired

Wanted to give an update - Megan's annual visit to the cardiologist turned out well. She has had no change, which is good. I had to take Conner and Madison with us, but they were all so good.

I am so tired! Madison actually slept well last night - 11:30-6:3oam!! But we had thunderstorms last night, so Megan was in our room at least twice. It may have been 3x's, but I'm too tired to remember.

I think some of my fatigue is mental - I think the stress is making me tired.

That said, I'm going to get ready for bed, and try to turn in early tonight. "Try" being the key word. ;)

((((HUGS))))

Monday again

I'm feeling a little better than I was yesterday. I think God is giving me His Peace that passes all understanding. Chris said he feels like a weight has been lifted now that he's decided to go back to youth ministry. He has also finished his seminary classes for the year, so he can spend more time with the family now.

Megan has her annual heart check tomorrow. She was born w/ a slight heart murmur, so she has to have it checked every year to make sure it's not getting worse. It's been a year since I've been to the doctor's office, so I hope I can find it. ;)

Madison slept from 11:00pm - 5:30am last night!!! WOOHOOO!! I'm doing the happy dance!!!

Not much else going on around here - just getting ready for the end of the school year.

(((HUGS)))

Ever feel lost and confused?

Well, I do. It's hard to explain, really. I just feel like I don't know my place right now. Do you ever feel like that? Let me explain a little. (sorry if this is hard to follow) (and btw, this is very personal and hard for me to type. But I need to get these feelings out.)

Chris and I have been gearing up for church planting. I really felt, for the first time, this was what God was calling us to do. Chris has had the church planting "bug" for a few years, but I was the hold-out. I finally got to a point, where I knew it was what God wanted for us, and I had accepted that. I even started doing my homework, so to speak. I got a book for church planting wives, and starting reading up on it.

But in the middle of all this, I've been feeling out-of-place. I can't even put my finger on it. I know I'm called to be a stay-at-home mom. I KNOW that. But there are times when money is tight, that I feel like I should be doing more. I've never shared these feelings with anyone. (- until today. I did talk to hubby about it at lunch today. He said he's never felt like I should be doing more, but that I'm doing exactly what I should be doing. It was nice to hear that!)

So, I've been feeling like I'm just not where I should be - like I should be doing more at home, more w/ the kids, more, more, more. But I wasn't sure what that meant exactly. I did start feeling a little better as I read the book b/c it states clearly a woman's first responsibility is to her family and home. Deep down I knew that already, but it was very reaffirming to hear again.

So things haven't been going as planned with the CP (church planting) stuff. Our funding has still not come through. That means we are living on half of what we were before b/c Chris resigned from his church position with the understanding we would start getting funding right away. It didn't happen. Paperwork wasn't turned in, things weren't done as they should have been, and I don't want to point fingers, so I'll just say - basically we have been putting a lot on credit cards right now. I haven't been too worried about it b/c our tax refund paid it off the first month, and that stimulas check will pay it off this month (and maybe next month if need be). So on top of all the feelings I was having before, I was worried about finances. But I knew at least Chris' school job was secure - he signed his letter of intent (to return) for next year, so that was all lined up. And he'll be gone this summer w/ the Army, and make extra money then, so that was all set. Right? WRONG!

His school didn't get the enrollment for next year, so guess what - they don't need another teacher. There goes his job for the fall.

And Chris recently told me, he doesn't want to do the Army. He has never signed anything with them, so he can get out at any time until he finishes seminary - which they are paying for. If he leaves now, we have to payback all the money they've paid for seminary. Oh good - more money we don't have. :(

And then, this morning, Chris hits me with the big one - he is certain God is calling him back to youth ministry, not CP. My first reaction - are you kidding me??!! I finally resign myself to this, we have told all our friends and family we are doing this, they are behind us 100%, we've already done all this work for the "home" church, and now you want to go back to youth ministry??? I don't even like youth ministry! (Yes, I said that out loud, and now I've typed it.)

So this morning was a VERY HARD morning for me. I felt even more lost and confused - Why did I have such a peace about CP, and Chris have such a peace about youth? How do I deal with going back to youth ministry? (We have only had a couple of good experiences. Isn't that sad? most of the churches we have served at, have only left me with bad memories.) I'm tired of small churches, full of old people that are scared of change, that only have 5 teenages, that have huge buildings but empty pews, that can't afford to pay us very much, so my hubby has to work 2 jobs (at least), while we still qualify for medicaid and WIC, etc etc.

I had a long talk with Chris tonight - and he is certain God is calling him back to youth ministry. It's his calling - always has been. He LOVES teenagers. He has a heart for them. And they love him. He intends to pursue seminary, but is still unsure about the Army. He's waiting for God's guidance on that one.

And I'm left with lots of questions. What are we going to do for income? Where are we going to go to church? What do I tell people about CP? (that one should be easy - God told Chris to go back to youth, but some people will see it as Chris being wishy-washy.) Is Chris going to be home this summer or away with the Army? How are we going to survive? Do you get the picture? I'm scared, worried, confused, sad, lost.....

I know I need to trust Chris to listen to God and do what's right for our family. And I do. It's just hard when things are so uncertain. He's heard of a church that recently lost their youth minister, and he would be THRILLED to end up there. It's like his dream church. Maybe God is working it out for us to end up there. Or maybe God has something else altogether. I need to just believe that it will work out - like it always does. God is in control, and He sees what we don't. I just needed to get this out. I feel a little better already - a little....

My baby's one month pictures

How busy are you?

I was talking to my mom today about a daycare provider that recently "forgot" about a kid in her car. They had been on a field trip, and when they get back to her house and unload one little boy keeps asking for his baby brother. She keeps telling him baby brother didn't come today. UH, wrong! Baby brother is in the car!!! I'm not sure how long he was there, but he survived. However, he has brain damage. How do you forget a child??!!

It reminded me of some other stories I've heard. So I did some searching. In just a few minutes, I found 6 (yes, SIX) stories of PARENTS "forgetting" their child in the car. In most cases, they were so busy trying to get to work, they forgot they hadn't stopped off at daycare. Are you kidding me??!!! You FORGOT your child was in the back of your car ALL DAY!!!! If you are so busy and frazzled that you forget your own child is in the car, it's time to cut some stuff out of your life!!!! No one should be so busy they can't remember if they dropped their kid off at daycare. One of the cases was a NURSE! She worked at a hospital!!!! OH MY GOSH!!! Another case was a set of parents of an 8 week old. After a long day of running errands, each thought the other one had brought in the baby. Mom goes to take a nap, and afterwards asks dad where the baby is. He says he thought it was with her! That's when they realize it's in the car. And the outcome of all SIX of these cases - THE CHILD DIED!!!!!!!! I'm sure there were more cases, that's just what I found after about 5 minutes of searching. In fact, there are probably many more b/c I recenlty learned something that totally bugged me - Daycares are now suppose to call parents that are 30 minutes late to ask why the kid isn't at daycare to make sure the parent hasn't left them in the car! Why is it the daycare's responsibility??? Why in the world should parents need a phone call asking if they forgot their kid??

As the busy mother of 4, let me just say, I WILL NEVER get so busy that I can't remember where I left my kids. If I even get close to that point, I will let some things go, cut out some things in my life, or hire help! It should never come down to "I was so busy, I forgot my kid was in the car."

National Day of Prayer

Today is the National Day of Prayer. I love the idea of everyone coming together on a certain day to pray, but as Christians we should be praying all the time. Every day should be our day of prayer. But I'm still in favor of this. :)

As I look around at people and circumstances in my life, I am reminded even more of the huge need for God. I find it so sad that people actually think they can get by without God in their life. And I'm sure they can "get by", but they aren't experiencing life the way it was meant to be experienced. I would rather live life to the fullest, then to just get by. And the sad thing is - they don't have a clue what they are missing out on.

I know there are lost people out there that have really been hurt by Christians in the past. Therefore they label all Christians as hypocrites or liars or whatever. But that is so unfair. I don't label all african americans as murderers just b/c I saw a story on the news about a black man that murdered someone.

A true Christ-follower lives their life in a way that leads others to Christ. If people don't see Christ when they look at you, maybe it's time to reevaluate your lifestyle.